The Pressure to “Move On”
I don’t know who needs to hear this today, but I do.
You are allowed to heal at your own pace.
Read that again. Let it sink in.
Because I spent too much of my life believing that healing had a deadline, that I had to be “over it” by now, that I had to smile when I still felt broken inside. And maybe you feel that way too—like you should be fine, like the world expects you to be okay, even when you’re still carrying the weight of something that shattered you.
I used to wake up and tell myself, Today is the day I’ll stop thinking about it. But then I’d hear a song, see a familiar place, or catch a scent in the air that brought everything rushing back. My heart would sink, my stomach would tighten, and suddenly, I was right back where I started.
And then the guilt came. The Why am I still like this? Why can’t I just move on like everyone else?
Healing is Not a Race
Maybe you know that feeling. Maybe you’ve been carrying a pain that the world doesn’t see. And maybe, like me, you’ve been hard on yourself for not being “over it” yet.
But here’s the truth: Healing is not a race.
Some wounds take time. Some scars ache long after they’ve formed. And just because someone else seems to move on faster than you doesn’t mean they healed better—it just means their journey is different from yours.
I’ve learned that healing isn’t about pretending to be okay when you’re not. It’s not about suppressing emotions just because others are uncomfortable with your pain. Healing is about allowing yourself to feel, to break, to grieve, and to rebuild—at your own pace, in your own way.
Healing Looks Different for Everyone
Some days, healing looks like getting out of bed when it feels impossible. Other days, it’s allowing yourself to cry without shame. And sometimes, healing means laughing again, feeling the warmth of a moment without guilt.
And you know what? That’s okay.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation for how long your healing takes. You don’t have to rush just because the world tells you to. You don’t have to “get over it” on someone else’s timeline.
I wish someone had told me this sooner. I wish I had been kinder to myself on the days I felt stuck. I wish I had known that healing isn’t linear, that some wounds reopen, that some days will be harder than others—and that’s normal.
Be Gentle with Yourself
So if you’re still healing, if you still feel the echoes of something that hurt you, I want you to know:
You are not weak for feeling.
You are not broken for still carrying the weight of what you’ve been through.
You are human.
And humans heal in their own time, in their own way.
So please, give yourself the grace you so freely give to others.
You Deserve to Heal
Your healing doesn’t have to be pretty. It doesn’t have to make sense to anyone else. It doesn’t have to be fast.
You deserve to heal at a pace that feels right for you.
So take your time. Breathe. Trust that one day, the weight will be lighter. One day, the pain won’t define you. One day, you’ll look back and realize you made it through.
Until then, be gentle with yourself.
You are allowed to heal at your own pace.